This Is What I Know

This is what I know.  This is why I love Jesus.

He laid down His LIFE for me.  He took my punishment upon Himself.  He seperated Himself from the Father, FOR ME.  He then rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven to be seated at the right hand of God - all for US.

I am saved because of His great love and sacrafice. 

1 John 4:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

This is truth.

I am a sinner.  We all are.  Without Jesus, we are doomed.

I cannot help but be madly in love with the one who died for me.  Who made everything possible.  WHO CREATED ME.  I mean seriously, we literally can't draw our next breath without Him.  How could I not love Him?

And because of my gratitude for his immeasurable sacrafice, I want to serve Him.  I owe Him my life - complete and utter control of it.  Even then, that isn't enough to fulfill the debt.

But, the beauty is that there is NO debt.  It is covered by the blood of Jesus!

I believe in Jesus.  I believe that He loves me and I know that He cares about even the smallest part of my life and your life. 

I believe that He romances me in ways that only I could pick up on.

I believe that He is telling me that He loves me when He sets beautiful clouds in the sky and paints a perfect sunset, just because He knows they take my breath away.

I believe that He speaks to me through worship.  That He leads me to the perfect song for each moment in life.

I believe that my innocence is restored through Him.  That my past is wiped clean.

I believe that I must leave room for what I can't understand.  He is far greater than what my tiny brain can comprehend.

I believe in the Cross and  I believe in the Bible. 

I know that our Savior is all around us.  He is knocking and waiting for us to open the door. 

But, why do I believe these things deep within my being?  Why would I defend these truths with my life?

I've been reflecting a lot on this lately.  What is my story?  My testimony?

I am about to meet a group of insanely wonderful people who I'll be sharing this journey to Swaziland with.  They will want to know me, they will want to know the things in my life that led me to the foot of the cross.  And I will want to know their stories too.

I feel like I dont have a testimony worth telling.  There are no insane Spirit filled moments that have happened.  I have never witnessed miraculous healing.  I haven't seen or spoken to a burning bush.  I feel like my faith has developed slowly and without any mega moments. 

But, we all have a testimony.  Looking back over my life I see God weaved through every moment in my past.  How He has tested me, shaped me, and loved me.  I am reflecting now, allowing God to weave all the peaces together into a perfect tapestry that is my faith journey - one that is more than worthy of being told...

Romans Road

Romans 3:23  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is

eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

Romans 5:8  God shows his love for us in that while we were still

sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 10:13  For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord

will be saved

Romans 10: 9-10  If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in

your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be

saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and

with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 8:1  There is therefore now no condemnation for those

who are in Christ Jesus

That is what I know.

Listen and Learn

To prepare for our mission to Swaziland we have been asked to complete a few "homework" assignments and devotionals.

One of the things that has really stuck out to me is, the emphasis on spending time just listening to and meditating on what the Father has to say.  Sometimes, it seems that I forget to do this.  I suppose I tend to be the talker in my relationship with Jesus.

I think this is a common problem.  Our relationships with our Savior seem to be one sided.

How can we possibly have a relationship with God, much less be guided by that relationship, if we hardly let Him get a word in?

My prayers always look somewhat similar day to day.  They begin with my asking for forgiveness and thanking Him for his mercy and sacrafice.  Then I typically pray for His people and His world and I throw in my own problems and requests.  Then I ususally end somewhere around, "Your will be done and not my own." 

While I deeply mean every word that I say, I seem to talk AT Him.  Not WITH Him.

God doesn't want a rehearsed speach every single day.  He wants a conversation.  Intimacy.  Closeness.

Sometimes words aren't even necessary, just silence.

God speaks to us.  Sometimes His voice is loud and clear, sometimes its a gut feeling, sometimes its a faint aching in your heart..for everyone, His way of communication is different.. 

He might be trying to speak to you during your quite time, during the preaching of His word at church, through a Bible study, through musical worship, through another person, etc.  However, we must be listening for His voice to have a hope at hearing it.

We must take time away from the monotony of our everyday lives and spend time, literally, with Jesus. 

I have found this exceptionally hard to do in my home.  There are distractions simply everywhere.  Dogs, computer, tv, things to clean, things to do. 

To get seperation I like to go on my back porch, in my teeny-tiny back yard, so that I have a clear view of the sky and trees and flowers - His creation. 

I spend time in His Word here, I spend time worshipping Him.

But rarely do I spend time in silence.  Simply, listening for His voice.

He wants to tell me something, He wants to show me something, but sometimes I find myself so wrapped up in what I have to say that I forget to listen to His words.  I ask Him a question and don't even give Him the opportunity to answer.  But, He wants to answer and He WILL answer..I simply must chose to hear Him.

God is already using this trip, before it even starts, to reveal Himself to me.  He has something to say to me and I am being reminding through these devotionals to hear Him.  I am in awe before my Jesus, He is rendering me speachless. 

John 3:30 "He must become greater; I must become less."

My relationship with my Savior is not about me.  It's about Him.  Making much of Him, glorifying Him, advancing His Kingdom. 

It's time I stopped "talking" and started listening. 

Fill Me Up

Fear is starting to creep in.

What have I gotten us into?

FILL ME UP, LORD..fill me up with faith, fill me up with hope, fill me up with joy, fill me up with peace.

For many many months now I have been asked the question, "Aren't you afraid?'  My answer has tirelessly been, "No way!  I'm so excited!"

Up until now, it's been true.  I've been so so excited.

Don't get me wrong, the excitement is still there, it's fueling me.  However, fear has taken up root in my heart.

When the question, "Aren't you afraid?", comes up, typically the person is referring to disease, filth, and general danger.  I am not afraid of these things. 

I am afraid of the unknown.

I have never experienced poverty.  I have never looked in the face of a starving child.  I have never held an orphan.  I have never been to a country that disease claims the lives of so many people.  I have never done this before.  I'm scared of what I'm going to see.  I'm mostly scared of what I'm going to feel.

My heart is already hurting for these people and I just don't know how I'm going to react in their presence.

I'm afraid of the massive heart change that the Lord is preparing for me.  He is planning to wreck me.  To wreck my view of everything.  I want it, I pray for this, but I am oh so afraid of it. 

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

Scripture tells us SOOOO many times to "fear not."  Why is it so hard then?

The Lord is teaching me (reminding me rather) that He is the only one who brings me peace.  If I grab ahold of His hand, He will guide me and keep me. 

I want all the the Lord has willed for my life.  I long deeply for it.  It means change, though, and it means seeing and feeling things that are uncomfortable and heart breaking.

There is POWER in the name of Jesus and my prayer is that while He totally wrecks my life, that He would help me rejoice in whatever circumstance I am put in.  I pray that He would help me to rejoice with a suffering people and help me to bring them hope.  I pray that He would help me to rejoice in whatever change He brings to my life after this trip is over.

I pray to be FILLED with his Spirit, to take comfort in knowing that He is closer than my own breath.


Show me Your Glory Father!! 

Leftovers

I made a mistake. 

There was a man standing on the side of the road.  In his hands he held a sign and scribbled on that sign were the words - "just hungry.  anything will help. (leftovers)" 

Well wouldn't you know, I was coming from Jersey Mikes (a sandwich shop) and had half of my sandwich nicely wrapped up in the center console.  Leftovers.

My first thought - "I'm saving my sandwich for later.  That's tomorrows lunch!"  Shameful.

Then I began to think - "Ok, no, I'll just give it to him, that's what Jesus would want me to do." 

But then the light turned green and I had places to go.

The further away I got from the poor old man the worse I felt.  Maybe my sandwich would have been his only opportunity for dinner that night...maybe not.  Who cares really?  I should have handed over that stupid sandwich. 

Repentance immediately went into full effect.

I know that I'm forgiven.  In fact, God has thoroughly impacted me with this experience.  It's almost as if He planned it this way. ;-)

Matthew 25: 35-40
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to vist me.
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Scripture tells us that whatever we do for the "least of these" we have done for our Father.  In the same way, whatever we do not do, we have not done for our Father.

Leftovers.  Food that we couldn't fit into our bodies because we had already stuffed our selves full of other yummy food.  Funny thing is, we so easily hoard these "leftovers" for later - more times than not, we end of throwing them away. 

Reality check.  1 child dies every 4 seconds due to starvation.  4 SECONDS.  We are so busy preparing extravagent feasts to even remember that.  Myself included. 

No, I can't send my leftovers to these sweet children of God.  But I could give it to someone in need.  Someone who hasn't had a meal today.  A child of God right here in my own city.  Perhaps, someone who's standing right on the side of the road with a signs that screams "hungry"!

Wasn't I just saying in my last post that we start the process of telling others about Jesus by tangibly SHOWING them Gods love?  I also said that it was a work in progress and I'd say after this little instance, I'm one step forward.

In the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan there is a passage that has etched itself upon my brain.  The question was begged (directed to God), "Why are so many people dying of starvation?"  The author then challenged me with the sentence: "He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving."

Whoa.  God created this earth, every man, every creature, every plant.  There is enough here through the power of God to sustain us.  But we are keeping (hoarding really) everything for ourselves, while others go without.  Why can't we share?  Provide?  Love others by giving?  

I'm sure the man on the side of the road wasn't dying of starvation.  It's very hard to go without a meal here in Charlotte.  But how would I feel if I was hungry and all I needed was for someone to hand me a measly, half eaten sandwich, yet no one could muster up the generosity?

I am no one to judge his circumstance.  Who knows what happened in his life that left him hungry on the side of the road.  My only responsibility is to help.

I want to please my Father in heaven.  I want to feed the "least of these," physically and spiritually.  I have plenty.  No, I have more than plenty.  I have excess. 

Here is my plan.  I will purchase unperishable food.  I will put them into ziplock bags and have them in the back seat of my car.  I will hand them out to those hungry and homeless.  Better than "leftovers," I'll give them "brand new" food. 

Because you know, I am now accountable. 

God broke my heart for this man,  He broke it with a purpose.

Sams Club, here I come!

Let Love be the Proof

So, to be a bit more clear about our particular mission, allow me to fill you in!

Swaziland is the name, LOVE is the game!

This trip is primarily about physical need and spiritual need.  No nail and hammer for this gal!  (Unless the Lord tells me otherwise!)

Orphan care, education, and distributing food are three major parts of this trip.  We will also have the opportunity to spend time with and care for widows and widowers, as well as be with people nearing the end of their life.  (In my previous post I briefly spoke about the incredibly high HIV/AIDS rate).  Not really sure how I will handle that..but the Lord is my strength.

Basically, the common theme is LOVE!

How can you possibly explain to anyone about how much Christ loves them without giving them tangible evidence??  Orphans are left parentless, they have no mommy, no daddy to love them.  They need a representation of love in their lives.  I want to love them by serving them.  By feeding them, teaching them, singing and dance with them, hugging them, and listening to them.

Our first responsibility is to show them how much our Savior loves them..then we get to tell them all about it!! 

Have you ever heard that phrase that goes something like.. "Your mission field is right under your own two feet"?  I firmly believe that.  We should show Christ love every single day.  I pretty much fail miserably at this..but it's important nonetheless.  We should be led by mercy.  The people right around us need us to feed them, teach them, sing and dance with them, hug them, and listen to them.  I am challenging myself to go out of my way to show LOVE to those around me. 

Sometimes (well, a lot of the time) I am wrapped up in myself and dont want to deal with anyones problems but my own.  I pray the Lord would unveil my eyes and help me to see the world as He sees it.  Hurting, desperate, needy.  I pray He would unveil my eyes and help me see His children they way He sees them.  Beloved, cherished, made in His image.  Not until I truely understand the depth of His love for us, can I truely understand how to love others.

It's a work in progress. 

If I sing but don't have love, I waste my breath with every song

I bring an empty voice, a hallow noise

If I speak with the silver tongue and convince a crowd but dont have love

I leave a bitter taste with every word I say

So let my life be the proof of Your love

So let my love look like You and what Your made of

How You lived, how You died

Love is sacrifice

So let my life be the proof

The proof of Your love

If I give

To a needy soul but dont have love then who is poor?

It seems all the poverty is found in me

When it's all said and done

When we sing our final song

Only love remains..

The Proof of Your love By King and Country

1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us."

Oh..by the way, I LOVE YOU!!   ;-)

It's about time..

Did you know that experts predict that in 2050 Swaziland will cease to exist?  Swaziland is a country raveged by AIDS/HIV (the worlds highest known AIDS/HIV prevalence rate), leaving over 20% of children orphaned.  An estimated 69% of the population lives in poverty..and so many are left widowed, ill, and with little hope. 

My husband, Joseph, and I are going to be spending 9 days in this tiny country.  (www.adventuresinmissions.org) With such a short amount of time it's hard to know just how much can be accomplished, but if we can show even one person the love of Christ, it'll be completely worth it!

It's about time we got out of our comfort zone to go and serve the Lord.  I have been feeling a nudge towards missions for a long time, but man have I been stubborn!  Christ commissioned us in Matthew 28:18-20 to "go and make disciples of all nations.." and throughout scripture He makes it known His love for the needy and our responsibility to go and love our brothers and sisters.  What have we been waiting for?  There is no greater blessing than to serve others while serving God.  There is no greater work in the world!  It's about time we stop wasting time!

We have been praying over, planning, and fundraising for this trip since August 2011.  The Lord worked His mighty hand and made this dream a reality, despite many obstacles!

Somehow, we have only 6 weeks left until we leave, and I feel so unprepared!  We have all the necessities and paperwork, but I feel spiritually unprepared. I have this idea that my heart should be in this super righteous state - that I am going to march over there and have all the answers.

Clearly, that's not going to happen!  I am a sinner.  This mission is not about me or what I can do, it's about my Savior and what HE can do.  I am trying to prepare my heart through prayer, scripture, and total reliance upon Christ.  I want to feel near to Him, to feel His constant presence, to know I'm living smack dab in the middle of His will for my life.

Despite a valiant effort at preparing my heart, anxiety, doubt, and fear tend to creep there way back in.  Anxiety and fear over potential risks (illness, snakes, rabid animals, crazy long flights, etc.) and doubting my ability to adequately speak Truth into these peoples lives.  Simply put..how can God use me, surely someone else can do it better?

No.  He made me.  He knows my inner most being.  He is the lover of my soul.  He has a purpose for me and for this trip.  Trust, trust, trust.  I will not allow the evil one to insnare me with doubt.

Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."  He is able.  He has more planned for us than anything I can imagine, and I definitely want to see what is in store!  His Holy Spirit will give us the words needed to speak, and He will use our hands and feet to advance His Kingdom in some small way.  No fear, doubt, anxiety is going to hold me back this time.  It's time I ought to be fully trusting.

He ordained this mission and so we go.  We go humbly surrendered to Him and totally confident in Him!  6 weeks from today!