The Moon in Africa

Day 8.

 

My journal entry this morning:

 

"I see the moon this morning.  I cannot believe that it's the same moon that I see in North Carolina.  I love you God, the creator of the world."

 

The sun was up and it was shining brightly.  I was sitting outside looking out at the most beautiful view, listening to music, and spending a little alone time with my Savior, with my Bible open on my lap.  I looked up at the sky and saw the moon, clear as day. 

 

I counted the hours trying to figure out what time it was at "home."  2 am?  So..the moon was shining somewhere over America too?  I have no idea how all of that works, but what I do know is that God created one moon for our little planet.  I was staring at it in Africa and I looked at it very often in NC.  It was a strangely profound moment.  The world is so tiny and God us our tiny little planet safely tucked away in the palm of His mighty hand. 

 

 

We left for our ministry sights at the usual time of 9am (but not before we could get a few snapshots with friends!).

 

 

 

We spent a lovely morning spending time in homes praying, loving, and sharing scripture with new Swazi friends.  Our leader Scott accompanied us on a few visits, and his presence boosted our confidence a ton.

 

We loved home visits and took away a lot from them, but at times we felt we could do more.  But, we were too timid. 

 

The Holy Spirit dwells within those who have placed their faith in Him.  The very one who created us, who created the heavens and the earth, resides inside of you and me.  We are capable of so much more than we could ever fathom, in the name of Jesus.  When we call on Him and believe that He will do what He has promised, amazing things can happen.   

 

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Matthew 17:20

 

When our requests and desires line up with the will of God, nothing is impossible.  But, we must believe it first.

 

We went to visit with a lady who had had a stroke.  She was paralyzed on one side of her body.  After sharing scripture and few testimonies with her she allowed us to lay hands on her hurting body and pray for her.  We all prayed in unison, calling the Lord to heal her and strengthen her. 

 

By my account, she still couldn't move half of her body when we left, but God never leaves.  We asked Him to heal her, and He is the only one capable, and I trust in His mighty hand.

 

 

We spent the rest of the afternoon like all the rest - loving and being loved by 40ish amazing kids.

 

If you ever need to feel loved, or maybe you need to hear that you're beautiful, might I suggest you visit rural Africa?  God poured out His love on me (and all my teammates) through these children.

 

Why yes, that is a cow in the background.

 

 

I mean seriously, aren't these the most beautiful children you've ever seen??

 

My sweet husband captured some very flattering photos of me and my teammates singing songs with the kids for Vacation Bible School.  We always had so much fun singing and being goofy - the kids certainly appreciated it!

 

 

 

 

 

The kids giggled the whole time!

 

Before leaving I got a precious little snuggle from the sweetest little boy I've ever met.  He stole my heart.  More on him in day 9.

 

 

Meet Bubba and Siphesihle

Day 7.

 

I prayed this morning to my heavely Father for my purpose in Swaziland to be revealed. 

 

"I pray that today would be the day I see my purpose revealed here and that I have the faith to step out and accomplish my task.  Help me to love today.  To love like you do. Amen"

 

During my morning devotional time I was listening to some music.  The Lord whispered two questions to ask myself in my ear..

 

Do I look like You?

Do I sound like You?

 

 

Today, Joseph and 2 of our teammates split off to go help build a home.  I was bummed that we wouldn't be together the whole day, however, we all have different talents that can be used to show God's love and Joseph certianly was able to do that through construction (or digging, as it turned out).

 

This is Lindewe, the women whose home was being built.

 

The construction team!  Kameryn, Sharon, and Joseph.

 

Back at Bhobogazi..

 

A few people from our home-vist team went back to Mose's house.  He has become a bit of a friend and his family just needs so much help. 

 

In the past two mornings that we've spent with his family, we met his nephew.  His nephew was always sitting on a cinder block up against their hut because of an injured leg.  We found out that he had been attacked by a dog and it appeared like his wound was a little infected.

 

We were blessed to be able to bring him an antibiotic to fight off the infection.  My prayer is that at this very moment his leg is healing and he is able to walk on it again.

 

We were able to visit and pray with a few lovely women before heading back to spend the afternoon with the children.

 

I want to introduce you to a little friend that I made..

 

 

This is Bubba.  Well, clearly, that isn't her real name, but we affectionately named her that.  She was a cutie-pie, but she was very "sturdy" (if you know what I'm saying).  We found this little one just standing at the gate of the care point.  She just stood there and stared at all the kids playing.  We didn't know where she had come from or who she was. 

Everytime one of us would go over to pick her up or bring her into the care point, she refused. Eventually she came in and stood behind the building where they prepare the rice and beans. She would not speak, play, smile, or laugh. She had no reaction to us - just a blank stare. She had desperately sad eyes.

 

We asked around to see if anyone knew her or recognized her, but no one did.  Ultimately, we just ended up taking turns spending time with her and trying to make her smile.  The only gesture I was ever able to get out of her was a wave goodbye.

 

Little Bubba touched my heart.  I know very little about this little girl, but this is what I know. She had sad, yet curious eyes.  She clearly wasn't underfed, but she certainly wasn't "healthy."  She was very hesitant to trust any of us, which begs the bigger question of, why?

 

I pray for sweet Bubba.  I pray for her well being, for her health, for her hope and her happiness.

 

I made another friend this day as well.  Her name is, Siphesihle. We got the spend time talking about her life and her faith.  She at one point asked if I wanted to be her best friend.  The answer was simple, OF COURSE I did.  (I have actually written to her since being home and I am praying that she received it.)

 

Best friends!

 

My new BFF is 12 years old.  She lives with her dad, her mother died a few years ago from an illness (probably AIDS).  This makes her very sad.  She has, I believe, 3 younger siblings, whom she cares for.  She told me that she sleeps on the dirt and never sleeps well, it is uncomfortable and cold.  Fortunately, she is in school, so there is hope for her future.

 

  Right there is the best reason to support impoverished children.  They need to be in school.  Is it known that the longer a young girl stays in school, the longer she typically abstains from sexual activity, which in turn could curve the rising AIDS rate.  Education will also help to build up a generation who can make a contribution to the community and ultimately help bring the nation back to its feet.  And as we all know, education gives children a sense of confidence and value, which is so vital for them to stand firm and strong in their convictions.

 

I walked away from this day with a lot of humility and a lot of passion for what these kids go through and how much help they need.

 

I dont know if I felt like my specific purpose in Swaziland had been revealed to me that day, but I had a new sense of my ultimate purpose.  There are many many things in this hurting world to be passionate about, there are SO many ways we can help and show Christ's love, but at the end of the day, the best thing I can do for anyone is share with them the truth of Jesus.

 

 

This little cutie-pie loved my sunglasses!

It's not just the kids that are hungry.

 

 

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.

Isaiah 58:10

Praying the Germs Right Off of Me!

Day6.

 

 

The layout of everyday was the same.  Morning ministry consisted of home visits and the afternoon was spent with the children at the Bhobokazi Care point, putting on Vacation Bible School.

 

If you remember, yesterday we met Moses.  He was desperately hungry and had a family to feed.  When we left him the previous day we returned to our care point to eat lunch, which obviously didn't sit well.  We talked to our leader and hatched a plan to get a food basket together for the family, and by basket, I mean, plastic bag.

 

We were beyond blessed to return to his homestead and present him with the food.  What we brought him and his family would last about a week or so, depending on how sparingly they ate.

 

We were also able to pray again with the family and give them some encouragement.  It was a beautiful beautiful morning!

 

Our ministry team with Moses (in the blue shirt) and his family.

 

Our next stop was to visit Audrey's mother.  Audrey is an amazing woman who we happened to meet at the care point.  She lives close by and spends time at Bhobokazi regularly.  She became a close friend to all of us!

 

We were pleasantly surprised that they lived in a relatively nice home and everyone in the household could speak English.  So refreshing!

 

Apparently, every morning they spend time in prayer together, so we were just in time.  Audreys mother was absolutely inspirational.  She ministered to us the entire time we were in her home.  She served in the Peace Core as a translator for her native language, Siswati.  She has actually been in America and even had the opporunity to stay, but chose to return to her beloved home. 

 

She prayed with us and spoke life over each of us.  She was eager to get to know us and encourage us.  The time was full of laughter, prayer, singing, and blessings.  I will never ever forget this family, they gave me so much more than I could have ever offered them.

 

Our ministry team with Audrey (the gorgeous lady with the big hair!),

her mother (in the white), and her aunt (kneeling down).

 

We ran into part of our group serving a family by carrying water for them.  Being the hands and feet of Jesus comes in all shapes and sizes!  I found this scene to be so comical because while it took one Swazi woman to carry  the bucket of water on her head, it took two Americans per bucket!

 

 

The rest of the day consisted of loving on some precious children and doing our best to show them Christs' love!

 

He's going to make the best daddy someday!

 

This is Mahti, our translators daughter.

 

We all just loved this sweet little girl.  She is always smiling and trying to get attention.  She was enamoured by Josephs beard and she also took a peak down his shirt!  So funny!

 



 

It was actually quite cold this day.  Probably in the 60's.  These poor children were in tiny little dresses or torn skirts and pants - the fortunate ones had flimsy little jackets. 

 

My little friend in the brown jacket had something filthy on her sleeve and continuously wanted to hold my hand with it.  It was one of those moments where you just have to pray the germs right off of you (and do your best not to sniff or use that hand)!  All I know is that yucky stuff on her wrist of her sleeve appeared to be brown and it was a bit damp - need I say more?

 

In that moment of being a little horrified about what I was touching, I thought about Jesus.  I am filthy, repulsive even.  However, Jesus, my Papa, holds tightly to my hand, snuggles me in closely to His chest, and kisses my cheek without a thought.  He loves me unconditionally, irrevocably, and unashamedly.  I chose to cuddle and hold this little girl, because that is how Jesus loves His children.

 

I found myself quickly not caring what was on her sleeve anymore.  I knew the Lord would protect me and had called me to this childs side.  All little who-knows-what on her sleeve wasn't going to stop me!

 

dinner time!

 

On our way home we saw the most incredibly site.  The Lord was speaking loud and clear!

 

We were all awestruck at the view.  God was, is, and always will be present in Swaziland (and all over the world, for that matter)!  I believe He was showing us and giving us tangible evidence of His presence.  Of His might and power. 

 

He gave us so much encouragement that evening, an encouragement that carried us through the week!  Praise the Lord!

 

I Am New

I've had an epiphany. 

I was reading through the blog of a World Racer (www.theworldrace.org for more info) today and I was struck to the heart by something I read. 

Ever since returning home from Africa I have been feeling "empty."  I thought that after this trip I would come home all "filled" up.  I left feeling I could almost explode with love and passion for Jesus.  I thought I'd return even more filled up with the Holy Spirt.  Filled with love.  Filled with compassion, with purpose, with passion, with drive.. the list goes on and on.  This simply wasn't the case.

I have felt like I'm running on empty.  Walking around in a haze of disorientation.  Like I have poured out everything and need to be refilled.  But, I didn't feel like He was refilling me.

What does He want from me?  What does He want for me?  Why am I not bursting at the seams with joy and love?  Why do I feel like I have back stepped?

But today, I found a new perspective.  This girls blog hugely blessed me and I know the Lord used her to speak directly to me.  Here is what I took away from her blog..maybe it'll be helpful to someone else..

I am new.  I am being remade.  I am not who I was.  Thank God.

God is in the process of transforming me.  I am not the same person now as I was before my feet hit African soil.  He is expanding my capacity for love, for compassion, for hope, and faith.  I am a larger, more beautiful vessel for Christ than I was before.

It's not so much that I'm "empty" or "less full" - I simply have the capacity in my spirit to hold so much more.  I have not been feeling full because I have space for a lot more!

I have NOT back stepped.  He is establishing a new heart in me.  And while this has felt uncomfortable and a bit confusing, it's all for His glory. 

I am just as full as I was when I left, in fact, I'm filled even more with a desire and heart for the Lord.  But now, I am able to love abundantly more, feel compassion and even heartache abundantly more. 

He is slowly transforming me into His likeness.  It seems like an impossible task, but we will all one day be perfected in His presence.

I pray for continued sanctification.  We are never done being shaped and molded.  He is the potter - we are the clay. 

Have your way in me, Lord!

More African stories coming soon..

Break Every Chain - & Bhobokazi

There is power in the name of Jesus

To break every chain.

 

All sufficient sacrifice

So freely given

Such a price

Bought our redemption

Heavens gate swing wide.

 

Will Regan & The United Pursuit Band

 

I am struggling to write this post this morning.  I've been feeling really out of sorts lately.  I was told that a sort of depression is common upon arriving home from a mission trip, but man, I had no idea.

 

 When arriving home I was literally devestated.  I wanted nothing more than turn around and go back, never to touch American soil again.  I wanted to be with my sweet precious friends, I wanted to continue on in the distinct purpose I had felt in Swaziland.  I wanted to go back and bask in the presence of our Holy God (how silly of me to forget that He is here too).  I wanted to see my teammates and make them a permanent fixture in my life.

 

I wanted that and I continue to want that. 

 

But, it hurts deeply to want those things.  I've never experienced heart break this way before.  I dont know if you have, but let me tell you, it's painful.

 

To ease the pain I have found that I have forced myself to revert back to my old self. I have forced myself to find value in the empty things around me.  I forced myself to continue on in my old desires.  The devil has used my pain as a way to make me push everything I learned and saw away.

 

No more.  Lord, please help me.  Don't let me lose sight of You, of Your children, of Your world, of Your commission. 

 

Right now I'm trying to find purpose in what I am doing here and now.  There is purpose.  I don't have to be in Africa to have a cause, to feel useful.  My ministry is right where I stand. 

 

I love Swaziland.  I love each one of my teammates and leaders, more than they realize.  I love all the little Swazi children.  I love Audrey and Grace and all our Swazi friends.  I love Bhobokazi and Bhalekani.  I love Africa.  But, most of all, I love Jesus.  He has set a love upon my heart and I know He will see it through, one way or another.   

 

He will break this chain.  He will take my hurt and make it into something beautiful.

 

 

Day 5.

 

This is the carepoint my team was assigned too.  <3

I was quite afraid on our first day of home visits and carepoint ministry.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121: 1-2

I wrote down a few prayers in my journal, desperately pleading for strength and confidence.  I also wanted heartbreak.

Lord, I want to feel something deeper than sadness, than feeling sorry for these people.  I want to feel heartbreak.  Break my heart for what breaks Yours.  I feel passion building, or maybe compassion, but I want it to explode inside of me.  Align my heart with Yours.  Amen (side note: be careful what you ask for)

We headed out to our ministry sites bright and early on Monday morning.  From about 10-12:30 we were to be out doing home visits or street ministry.  Basically, meeting strangers and spending time getting to know them and praying with them.

I was terrified, what on earth was I going to tell these people?!  But God has a funny way of working all things together for His glory. 

The first man we met was Moses.  We spent some time getting to know him and reading scripture.  He was so appreciative to have us there.  We prayed for his family, for his home (that it wouldn't fall down), for his nephews injured leg, and for the Lords provision on this family.

We left Moses feeling deeply saddened by how hungry and skinny he was.  We immediately set out on a mission to find a way to get food for him and his family. (update on day 6)

The next lady we visited was probably about 75 years old.  She couldn't walk anymore and was pretty much trapped in her armchair.  She was overjoyed to have us read scripture to her, so much so that she began to cry.  It was truly beautiful. 

We then got asked to sing for her.  Say what!?  We all looked around at each other with looks of horror and then eventually decided to sing Amazing Grace.  We sang a rather out of tune but intensely powerful chorus of the song.  Praise God, it was awesome!

The best part was at the end we all laid hands on this beautiful woman and prayed for her healing and for her family.  It was so special.  Hallelujah! 

After our home visits we headed back to our carepoint to spend time with the kiddos! 

We were assigned the awesome, yet difficult task, of putting on Vacation Bible School each day.  Our theme of the week was how God can turn a bad day into a good day and we talked about biblical examples of this.

Our goal was to help the children understand that even when something bad happens to them, God can and will use it for the good of those who love Him.  We must simply trust Him to do so.

We put on silly skits, sang fun songs, and played games.  The kids loved it!

We blew up a bunch of balloons for them to play with and the children went NUTS!   



Joseph playing with the balloon with this precious little one.

I absolutely love this little one.  She was so

dirty, she had rotten teeth, she had sores on her head,

and she wore this dress the entire week, but I

couldn't help but snuggle her.

Playing games!

 

After the "program" the children ate their meal.  Now, remember, for most of them, this is their only meal.  It consists of rice and beans.  They get heaping portions, which is great, and they eat ALL of it, even the tiny ones.  Of course, some only eat part of it and bring the rest home to their family.  Thank God for care points, without them, these kids wouldn't be eating.

 

 

 

I was officially falling in love with Bhobokazi and couldn't wait to be back the following day. 

 

 

Agape & African Animals

Agape : selfless, sacraficial, unconditional love.

Day 4.

I had been looking forward to this day of the trip for a while, mainly because this was the day of the game drive. 

Before leaving America, I had been a little bummed thinking, "how could we go to Africa and not do a safari?!"  God heard my selfish little thoughts and provided us the opportunity to do an afternoon game drive.  I was beyond ecstatic!

Little did I know, this day was going to be unbelievably impactful and not because of any animals!

That morning we got up and headed to Sunday morning service at Agape Church.  This is a newly planted church on the grounds of the Bhalekane Care Point.  The entire attendance consisted of about 8 adults and 20 children and the 32 of us!

As we walked across the grounds toward the building they were holding service in, the stunningly beautiful sound of African voices filled the air.  I wish you could hear the music we heard that morning.  When they sing, you can hear their souls. I was about in tears the moment we stepped inside.

For several minutes we stood worshipping our Savior.  The Swazi men, women, and children sang their angelic songs as the rest of us tried to sing along or stood in silence and in awe.

I will never forget standing there, swaying to the beat of their music, looking out the window at the beautiful African landscape.  The moment literally took my breath away.  God was SURELY present.  I could feel Him.  He was so present, I could almost see Him.  This will go down as one of the most special moments of my life.

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.
Matthew 18:20

One of our teammates, Kenny, shared a few words of encouragement with the congregation and then the pastor got up to preach.  He preached out of Genisis and repeatedly asked the question "is anything too hard for the Lord?"  It was powerful and it was poignant.  Nothing is too hard for the Lord, NOTHING.  And it's a good thing too, because just about everything is too hard for us.

In my head I kept thinking "God is here & we are here!"  It was absolutely surreal.

Church in Swaziland was passionate.  It was beautiful.  It was not rushed.  It was His time.  I came away with a sense of how we rush God and church in America.  These people NEED Him, we all do, but they know it.  They depend on Him each and every day.  They worship Him with their whole hearts and I'll never be the same after being apart of it.

 the entire congregation at Agape

After church we left for our safari at the Hlane Royal National Park...

We got exceptionally close to this lion.  I believe someone on our team affectionately named him Aslin.  At one point he started walking toward a vehicle, which clearly was making them nervous, but he ended up just curling up in the grass for an afternoon nap.  As we drove past him we were about 6 feet away from him.  He clearly didn't mind being stared at all day long.

Next up, the Rhinos!  This was a definite hightlight for me. These creatures are so huge and powerful, and oddly beautiful.  God sure does have a huge imagination!  We were able to get out of our vehicle to get a closer look at these animals.  Our driver was not pleased about this but the other cars were doing it, so he couldn't say no.  We ended up standing about 20 to 30 feet away from these awesome animals!



We also got to experience, up close and personal, a Rhino fight!  Like a normal person, I about sprinted back to the vehicle, while my husband and a few other brave souls stood there and took pictures!  It was a little frightening, but very memorable!  Eventually, the tour guides got nervous and hustled everyone back to the Jeeps.

Our safari group!
Joseph, Michelle, Tricia, Becca, (guide), Rachel, Kenny
Allison (me), Ashley, Mairi, and Katie

On the way home, we got to see the most beautiful sunset.  I've always heard that African sunsets are the best, and now I know that first hand. 

When we got home we had an evening debrief.  The next day our real ministry was starting and fear was not just creeping it, but setting up camp inside of me.  Fortunately, I was not alone.

We had a powerful time of prayer, which was much needed, as it always is.  The prayer on my heart was that the Lord would deliver us from satans attacks.  Satan doesn't want us to feel worthy or good enough, but we are!  God can and will use us it we are ready and willing.  The Lord was whispering in my hear "I am ready, my child."  Even though I didn't feel ready, He assured me that He was, and that is always enough. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7