This Is What I Know

This is what I know.  This is why I love Jesus.

He laid down His LIFE for me.  He took my punishment upon Himself.  He seperated Himself from the Father, FOR ME.  He then rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven to be seated at the right hand of God - all for US.

I am saved because of His great love and sacrafice. 

1 John 4:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

This is truth.

I am a sinner.  We all are.  Without Jesus, we are doomed.

I cannot help but be madly in love with the one who died for me.  Who made everything possible.  WHO CREATED ME.  I mean seriously, we literally can't draw our next breath without Him.  How could I not love Him?

And because of my gratitude for his immeasurable sacrafice, I want to serve Him.  I owe Him my life - complete and utter control of it.  Even then, that isn't enough to fulfill the debt.

But, the beauty is that there is NO debt.  It is covered by the blood of Jesus!

I believe in Jesus.  I believe that He loves me and I know that He cares about even the smallest part of my life and your life. 

I believe that He romances me in ways that only I could pick up on.

I believe that He is telling me that He loves me when He sets beautiful clouds in the sky and paints a perfect sunset, just because He knows they take my breath away.

I believe that He speaks to me through worship.  That He leads me to the perfect song for each moment in life.

I believe that my innocence is restored through Him.  That my past is wiped clean.

I believe that I must leave room for what I can't understand.  He is far greater than what my tiny brain can comprehend.

I believe in the Cross and  I believe in the Bible. 

I know that our Savior is all around us.  He is knocking and waiting for us to open the door. 

But, why do I believe these things deep within my being?  Why would I defend these truths with my life?

I've been reflecting a lot on this lately.  What is my story?  My testimony?

I am about to meet a group of insanely wonderful people who I'll be sharing this journey to Swaziland with.  They will want to know me, they will want to know the things in my life that led me to the foot of the cross.  And I will want to know their stories too.

I feel like I dont have a testimony worth telling.  There are no insane Spirit filled moments that have happened.  I have never witnessed miraculous healing.  I haven't seen or spoken to a burning bush.  I feel like my faith has developed slowly and without any mega moments. 

But, we all have a testimony.  Looking back over my life I see God weaved through every moment in my past.  How He has tested me, shaped me, and loved me.  I am reflecting now, allowing God to weave all the peaces together into a perfect tapestry that is my faith journey - one that is more than worthy of being told...

Romans Road

Romans 3:23  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is

eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

Romans 5:8  God shows his love for us in that while we were still

sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 10:13  For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord

will be saved

Romans 10: 9-10  If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in

your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be

saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and

with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 8:1  There is therefore now no condemnation for those

who are in Christ Jesus

That is what I know.

Listen and Learn

To prepare for our mission to Swaziland we have been asked to complete a few "homework" assignments and devotionals.

One of the things that has really stuck out to me is, the emphasis on spending time just listening to and meditating on what the Father has to say.  Sometimes, it seems that I forget to do this.  I suppose I tend to be the talker in my relationship with Jesus.

I think this is a common problem.  Our relationships with our Savior seem to be one sided.

How can we possibly have a relationship with God, much less be guided by that relationship, if we hardly let Him get a word in?

My prayers always look somewhat similar day to day.  They begin with my asking for forgiveness and thanking Him for his mercy and sacrafice.  Then I typically pray for His people and His world and I throw in my own problems and requests.  Then I ususally end somewhere around, "Your will be done and not my own." 

While I deeply mean every word that I say, I seem to talk AT Him.  Not WITH Him.

God doesn't want a rehearsed speach every single day.  He wants a conversation.  Intimacy.  Closeness.

Sometimes words aren't even necessary, just silence.

God speaks to us.  Sometimes His voice is loud and clear, sometimes its a gut feeling, sometimes its a faint aching in your heart..for everyone, His way of communication is different.. 

He might be trying to speak to you during your quite time, during the preaching of His word at church, through a Bible study, through musical worship, through another person, etc.  However, we must be listening for His voice to have a hope at hearing it.

We must take time away from the monotony of our everyday lives and spend time, literally, with Jesus. 

I have found this exceptionally hard to do in my home.  There are distractions simply everywhere.  Dogs, computer, tv, things to clean, things to do. 

To get seperation I like to go on my back porch, in my teeny-tiny back yard, so that I have a clear view of the sky and trees and flowers - His creation. 

I spend time in His Word here, I spend time worshipping Him.

But rarely do I spend time in silence.  Simply, listening for His voice.

He wants to tell me something, He wants to show me something, but sometimes I find myself so wrapped up in what I have to say that I forget to listen to His words.  I ask Him a question and don't even give Him the opportunity to answer.  But, He wants to answer and He WILL answer..I simply must chose to hear Him.

God is already using this trip, before it even starts, to reveal Himself to me.  He has something to say to me and I am being reminding through these devotionals to hear Him.  I am in awe before my Jesus, He is rendering me speachless. 

John 3:30 "He must become greater; I must become less."

My relationship with my Savior is not about me.  It's about Him.  Making much of Him, glorifying Him, advancing His Kingdom. 

It's time I stopped "talking" and started listening. 

Fill Me Up

Fear is starting to creep in.

What have I gotten us into?

FILL ME UP, LORD..fill me up with faith, fill me up with hope, fill me up with joy, fill me up with peace.

For many many months now I have been asked the question, "Aren't you afraid?'  My answer has tirelessly been, "No way!  I'm so excited!"

Up until now, it's been true.  I've been so so excited.

Don't get me wrong, the excitement is still there, it's fueling me.  However, fear has taken up root in my heart.

When the question, "Aren't you afraid?", comes up, typically the person is referring to disease, filth, and general danger.  I am not afraid of these things. 

I am afraid of the unknown.

I have never experienced poverty.  I have never looked in the face of a starving child.  I have never held an orphan.  I have never been to a country that disease claims the lives of so many people.  I have never done this before.  I'm scared of what I'm going to see.  I'm mostly scared of what I'm going to feel.

My heart is already hurting for these people and I just don't know how I'm going to react in their presence.

I'm afraid of the massive heart change that the Lord is preparing for me.  He is planning to wreck me.  To wreck my view of everything.  I want it, I pray for this, but I am oh so afraid of it. 

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

Scripture tells us SOOOO many times to "fear not."  Why is it so hard then?

The Lord is teaching me (reminding me rather) that He is the only one who brings me peace.  If I grab ahold of His hand, He will guide me and keep me. 

I want all the the Lord has willed for my life.  I long deeply for it.  It means change, though, and it means seeing and feeling things that are uncomfortable and heart breaking.

There is POWER in the name of Jesus and my prayer is that while He totally wrecks my life, that He would help me rejoice in whatever circumstance I am put in.  I pray that He would help me to rejoice with a suffering people and help me to bring them hope.  I pray that He would help me to rejoice in whatever change He brings to my life after this trip is over.

I pray to be FILLED with his Spirit, to take comfort in knowing that He is closer than my own breath.


Show me Your Glory Father!!